One of the things that went through my mind on that first day as we were processing the ginormitude of everything we were having to learn was oh my god, we will never be able to leave her alone with anyone else.  Thankfully my CDE read my mind and said, “You might be thinking right about now that you’ll never go out again but you will go out again. You have to go out, now more than ever. You will find people who are willing and able to be trained and you will train them and it will be ok.”

She said this and it was a comfort but as we drove home, I still thought, how will we ever do this? Who’s going to be willing to stab Ainsley with a needle multiple times? How would we be able to train people for DAYS? There is so much to know. And, The Biggie: will we ever be able to trust someone to take her very life into their hands?

When I got home, I called my friend Ginette and spilled the whole ugly story. She listened and said appropriately awesome things like, “That BITES!” and “This sucks.” And after filling her ear with every gruesome detail, every chore, every burden we now bear, she said, “Well, listen, I just want you to know that when you’re ready, I want to learn how to do this. I’ll go to classes at the hospital, I’ll read the books, I’ll come over every day and hang out and watch what you do. I want to learn all of this so that I can watch Ainsley for you and know how to take care of her and do it right.  I’m not afraid to do it. I want to do it. We’ll do it together.”

I think I probably said something ridiculously understated like, “Thank you, that’s so nice” because I was busy trying not to fall over. Her attitude completely blew me away and I was deeply touched and humbled by her show of commitment and loyalty. That is real friendship. What a priceless gift.

That conversation bolstered my confidence and made me realize that there will be others – perhaps in  unexpected places – who will also be willing to step up and help shoulder the responsibility of Ainsley’s care. I stopped fearing it and started planning for it, and out of that the concept for this site was born.

So this one goes out to our beloved Nanette. In the immortal words of my sister, “You’re a good egg.”